Fake it 'till you make it!

"…And Yosef was in Mitzrayim (Shemot 1:5)."

Yosef's preceding of B'nei Yisrael down to Mitzrayim, was Hashem preparing the cure before the blow. Yosef descended to Mitzrayim as a slave which is an aspect of bitterness and sadness, which is an aspect of slavery. He then withstood his test and strengthened himself even there (in Mitzrayim) with happiness, as the verse says, "And Yosef was a man of success." The Midrash tells us that this means that he was constantly singing and dancing.

For in the bitterness of the exile when the bitterness strengthens itself very much, this is the primary advice, to do silly and fun things (like singing and dancing) in order to cheer up your soul during the bitterness. Just like it is written with regards to King David that he changed his appearance (behavior) before Avimelech, for at that time he was in great danger and in a great exile, so in order to save himself he began to act crazy and he let his spit drip down on his beard, etc. Therefore our main existence in Mitzrayim and our eventual departure from there was all because of "Yosef who was in Mitzrayim," therefore, Hashem sent Yosef Hatzadik down there first.

(Likkutei Halachot on the Parasha)

This was not only the secret of Yosef Hatzadik and David Hamelech, it is also our weapon in order to enable ourselves to cope during the tough times. Rebbe Nachman teaches that clapping hands and dancing has the ability to literally mitigate any harsh decrees that might be upon us or Am Yisrael (see Likkutei Moharan, lesson 10). The real truth is that there is nothing bad ever happening, and that everything is really for the good. We, because of our limited physical sight cannot see things in this broader perspective, which is why we can experience something as bad. Through the practice of clapping and dancing as well as thanking Hashem for the apparent bad situation we are in, we allow ourselves to go above the level of our own limited understanding and we open up the possibility of letting in Hashem's miraculous salvations. You see, once we can be happy and thank Hashem, then we have passed the test of faith which was the very reason why Hashem concealed himself and the good in the first place. May we all be blessed with being able to see the true good in everything, but until then, we have the Rebbe's classic advice of, "Fake it 'till you make it!"

(Picture taken from http://www.chabad.org/)

Why aren't you eating the cheese?

Once Rebbe Nachman went on a long wagon journey with his two closest students of whom he testified were the only two who had any real understanding of him at all, Rebbe Natan and Rebbe Naftali. As it was a long journey, they had to stop at someone's home to rest for a while. When they arrived at a certain house, the host was so honoured to have them that he prepared for them a very special cheese meal. Rebbe Natan blessed and began to eat, but he soon noticed that he was the only one of the three eating. To question the Rebbe was not an option or thought for Rebbe Natan; he did however turn to Rebbe Naftali and say, "Nu, why aren't you eating the cheese?" Rebbe Naftali explained that he too (like Rebbe Nachman) was suffering from tuberculosis, and it was known that dairy food irritated the condition and brought on severe and painful coughing (In fact Rebbe Naftali's tuberculosis was at a much more advanced stage than Rebbe Nachman's at the time). He concluded by saying, "If you tell me to eat the cheese, I will not listen, but if the Rebbe were to tell me to eat the cheese, then I would listen."

All the while, Rebbe Nachman was sitting and quietly listening. The Rebbe then spoke up and said, "Rebbe Naftali, eat the cheese." Rebbe Naftali, having perfect faith in his Rebbe immediately blessed and ate his fill of cheese. Only a few short minutes later, he began a very severe stretch of coughing. At this point, Rebbe Nachman spoke up again and said, "This cough is a whole different type of cough." After that, the coughing began to subside and eventually stopped. Then Rebbe Nachman concluded and said, "Until now, I thought that Rebbe Naftali was going to leave this world before me, but now I know that he will survive me." Rebbe Naftali in fact went on to live to the ripe old age of 85 years old... all because he ate the cheese!

A Woman's Prayers

No matter what problems you may have, do not turn to bachyanut with questions and complaints against Hashem. For example, "Hashem, why are you doing this to me... This is not fair... Why must I suffer... etc." Rather, you should use your power of prayer to strengthen your emuna and bring about positive changes and miracles in your life.

Instead of complaining, try saying, "Thank You Hashem." Even if you don't feel it, the words will eventually penetrate into your heart. Then begin asking Hashem to have mercy on you, to have mercy on your children. Tell Him how much you want to build a Jewish home with lots of Torah and Tefilla in the home. Ask Hashem to have mercy on your husband and to help him be zoche to learn Torah, pray with kavana and guard his eyes. Ask Hashem to have mercy and send blessings to his work so that he can make a living and support his family and so that you can be worthy of giving large amounts of money to charity and having many guests in your home. Ask for help to be able to give your kids a healthy spiritual and physical upbringing. That they should be zoche to find good friends, learn good middot, and eat good and nourishing food, etc.

This is the way Hashem wants us to pray to Him, these are the words that will find grace in His eyes. Like Chana who went to the Mishkan at Shilo and just opened up her heart and prayed to Hashem until she finally merited having a son who became one of our greatest prophets, Shmuel Hanavi. (Interesting to note that the name Chana comes from the word chen – grace)

Rav Arush explains; what does it mean that women took nine measures of speech (and only one measure was given to men)? It means that women have a tremendous power of prayer, they can sit and pray and say Tehillim all day long, from morning until night. In fact this is really what our grandmothers and great grandmothers used to do. They would always be reading Tehillim and talking and praying to G-d about everything all day long. They didn't care about anything else in life, because they knew that the secret to all the blessings and successes of their family was in their prayers. It's also good to go to kivrei Tzaddikim if possible and also to light many candles in the house that in the merit of the Tzaddikim, your prayers should be heard.

Precious mother and wife, you should know that you possess the greatest power that exists in the world. As it says in Tehillim, "Hashem is close to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth" Have you ever called upon Hashem in truth and not found Him to be there?

Rebbe Natan whose yartzeit is this week, 10^th of Tevet, said that he merited getting close to Rebbe Nachman only because of the tefillot of his mother. Every day during her pregnancy, his mother would go and cry and pray at the grave of the Baal Shem Tov, begging Hashem and pleading with Him that her child would grow up to be a Tzaddik. Then, even after he was born, she would take him in a basket, put him on the kever and continue to cry and pray for him.

This is the power of a Jewish woman's prayers, may we all merit much nachat from our family and be zoche to see all of our tefillot answered, amen.

Don't Get Shot!

Have you ever played the game called "Don't get Shot?"

Here's how it works. Before going out into the street, say a small prayer asking Hashem to help you guard your eyes, so that you should not see any improper images that will filthy up and destroy your mind and heart. Then once you step outside, the game begins. You are walking through heavily guarded enemy territory where there are soldiers and snipers out to get you at every corner. You have to accomplish your mission of... (here you can insert whatever it is you need to do, go to yeshiva, go shopping, drop off the kids, etc.). Now the rules are, if you don't see the enemy, then the enemy cannot see you. But if you do look up and see the enemy, then you get shot. If it's a quick look then it is just a flesh wound, but if it is a long look with desire, you just got shot and it's game over.

Bonus level: Perfume is really poison gas that the enemy puts out to trap you. If you quickly exhale it out and cover your nose you will probably live, but if you inhale it and enjoy the smell... that's right, you just got shot!

The best part of this game is that it is just like any other game; as soon as it ends, you can just start over. Do not despair, just hit the reset button, say your prayer, restate your mission, and you are back in the game. The score is kept by how long you can go without getting shot.

I once read a story that the Baba Meir zt"l said to his attendant, that he has not seen a woman in over 40 years; he was 47 years old when he said this. I challenge anyone to try to beat that score.

Rav Yitzchak Kaduri zt"l

Rav Kaduri meeting the Lubavicher Rebbe in New York

Rav Yitzchak Kaduri zt"l was given a blessing at his bar mitzvah by the Ben Ish Chai that he would merit wearing the same coat he had on at his bar mitzvah a hundred years later. It is famously known that he in fact lived to 113 years old and he would still wear the same coat that he had on at his bar mitzvah... 100 years later. See the power of the words spoken by Tzaddikim.

It is known that Rav Kaduri was a tremendous Torah scholar both in the revealed Torah and also in the Kabbalah. In addition, he was able to read very small printed text from sefarim even in his old age. When he was asked how he merited all of these blessings, he answered, "It is all in the merit of guarding my eyes. When I would go out into the street, I would not pick my eyes up from looking down to the bottom of my coat."